Oh The Lessons We Learn

Maybe a better name for my blog would have been  "Lessons From Kate."  She has taught our family - and many others so many lessons over the years.  Just this last weekend I learned another one, about forgiveness.

Kate attends a wonderful program called Our Place.  Their mission  is to support teens and adults with developmental disabilities so that they can live meaningful, productive, socially connected lives in their home community.  You will notice in their mission statement, this population is referred to as adults and teens first.  In other words they are people who have a disability.  First and foremost, they are people.  Even if Kate can't really read or write, drive a car, pick out the seasonally appropriate clothing, she is a person; a person -like you and me - who has emotions.  



I wasn't there Saturday night, but staff pulled me aside when I picked her up and told me that Dick had been really mean to Kate, and then Jane joined in and they were so mean to Kate that she was crying... really hard.  Staff handled the situation and by the time we got there Dick and Jane were like Hi Kate's Mom to me, and Kate came bounding down the stairs full of stories about Karaoke night and singing High School Musical songs.  Dick was asking when he and Kate could go see a movie.  

I didn't bring it up to her that night because to be honest, my heart was broken for her... for many reasons. One-I wasn't there to protect her. I'm the Mom, that is my job!  For two- I had to wrap my head around the fact that the kids who are teased all their lives for being different - tease and make fun of people too.  Really? Of anyone, I would think they knew what that felt like and wouldn't put that pain on anyone else.  But then you have remember, first and foremost, they are people.

In less than two hours, Kate's heart had evidently been broken, mended and the situation was forgiven and forgotten.  How many of us can say that?  How many of us aren't speaking to a family member for a word said that hurt our feelings?  How many of us have hurt someone and not asked to be forgiven? Kate, and others like her, experience life in a lot of the same ways we do, but their perspectives are different.  I  often wish mine was more like hers.

I did ask her this morning if she wanted to talk about what happened last night that made her cry.  Her response to me - No, we apologized.  What's for breakfast?  Just like that - it was over for her.  For me, I will think it about it for a long time I'm sure - and worry about her, but that is my job.  Her job is to share the joy - and she is doing it very well.