New Website!

Please join us on our new website: allieverwantedtobewasnormal.com

Rocky's Road to Recovery

You all know I normally tell you a story about Kate. But this weekend something happened that I think I need to share with you that in no way involves Kate. (full disclosure, you may need tissues)

This weekend my daughter Sarah and her boyfriend Hadrian stepped up in a big way and this momma's heart is overflowing. 

As a family, we have always been animal lovers. Kate got a golden retriever for her first birthday and we have not been without a four footer, or two, or three, since then. 29 years for this family. Art and I both had pets growing up also, so pretty much forever for us.

As a child, Sarah loved Alex, our golden. She used to take his canned dog food and line them up in a row. When asked what she was doing, she told me they were Alex's puppies (they had puppies on the label). She never missed a chance to pet any animal in the area or ride a pony. She was sure she would grow up to be a marine biologist.

When she was in college, it was time to say good-bye to Dakota, dog number four, commonly known as the best dog ever. She came home when she heard the news and spent two days loving on him, sleeping with him... after all, she was his favorite toy. Sarah insisted he be buried in our back yard. We did as she wished, with a picture of her under his leg, next to his heart. She was his best friend. My eyes are leaking again, that was over 10 years ago darn it.

For many years our family has been involved in dog rescue. We have seen the worst and the best in humanity. Once we we were sitting a dog for a lady and she decided she didn't want it back. A big black lab named Ben. A couple from church got him. It was about that time 6 years ago that Sarah adopted Peanut. A young pit bull pulled from the euthanize line at the kennel. He had sooooo many issues. Like afraid to leave the yard on a walk. His excitement level is over the moon. She had such patience with him, waiting as long as 30 minutes for him to be calm enough to get his dinner. He sings like a bird, still. She has done so much to help him be a "dog" and enjoy life. 

Then a friend ran into a situation where she had to re-home some of her pets due to a change in her living arrangements. We took a cattle dog mix and the lady's son who took Ben came and took her home. A pit bull named Major was found chained to a fence with a tow chain. We took him in when he was skin and bones and scared. He now lives the life as a singleton to a lovely couple who think of him as their baby. Poor pit bull Wilber came to us an old man with one eye, a cast on his leg and multiple skin conditions and scars. We all loved on him until he had to be put down on July 3, Sarah's birthday. I'm still so sorry about that honey... leaking again.

There were many more dogs that came in the door of our house and out that same door to a happy forever home. Since our move to Arizona, Sarah and Hadrian have continued the good work of a dog rescue. Some of their dogs they took in for a day or two, some for years. Some are foster fails. Which brings me to this next story.  Rocky.

On Friday night in the Humboldt Park neighborhood of Chicago, a young pit bull covered in fleas, bite wounds and emaciated was thrown over a locked fence and left in someones yard. This dog had every rib showing and his hip bones... and yet you could see the tail wagging. The kind homeowner contacted several people who networked to find a foster for this dog. This is where Blackdog All Breed Rescue got involved. They put out the call for a foster and of course you know who stepped up to take in the poor baby. I saw the pictures on Facebook and I said to Art, "I'm going to call Sarah and tell her take him." Art said, "You're crazy." I read farther down the comments and saw that Blackdog had a foster, it was Sarah and Hadrian. I told Art and he said, "I'm glad, he will be fine now."- softy.

So they drove to Chicago that night and got him so he wouldn't have to sleep on the cold floor of the ladies garage. Sarah actually held his head up while Hadrian drove them home. 

They took him in the back door, closest entrance to a bathroom. Four baths later - assured every single flea was drowned, he went out the back door and around the house into the front door. A cozy crate with fleece blankets was waiting for him there. Sarah told me the red on his back was the flea poop. There was so much the water running off of him was red. Okay, my eyes are leaking again. They wanted to really scrub him to be sure they were all gone but the feel of the bones under the skin reminded them to go softly. Excuse me while I grab more tissues.

He went to the vet today and was told he is only 45 lbs, should be closer to 60. He is covered with flea bites and an ear infection. He is totally in love with Hadrian, as most the four footers who walk into that house are. He has a long road ahead of him, but his life is going to be better from this point forward.

Sarah has a huge heart. I'm so grateful she found someone to be beside her on this wild ride she is taking. My cup runneth over with love for them. When you see the posts on Instagram and Facebook about this situation, you realize there are good people out there.

We need to focus on those and not the horrible ones we see on the news or hear about. Lets raise up the good ones until everyone strives to be like them. I know I want to be more like her. 

If anyone wants to help in Rocky's Road to Recovery, please donate to Blackdog All Breed Rescue through this PayPal link. Every little bit helps. 

What I learned at Bocce

Kate is on the Mesa Bulldog Special Olympic Bocce team.

This past weekend we had a tournament in Mesa at the Community College. What a lovely site. We sat under a tree in the shade with a cool breeze.

I learned a few things this weekend:

There are good people out there who give of their time.

Patriotism is alive and well.

Friendship is heartwarming.

Follow through is important.

Fun is just fun, a smile is just a smile, a hug is just a hug. Embrace the pure joy of being in the moment. Trust what your eyes are seeing, feel the emotions in your heart. 

Again, Kate and  her friends have shown me that life is good and we should all share the joy while we can. Especially in these days, remember to share the joy.

The Crack House

Kate hangs out on most Saturday afternoon with her friends. Cheri, Kate's caregiver, takes Kate and a couple of friends out for some social time. These friends also bowl with her as part of the Special Olympic bowling - go Mesa Bulldogs - and Cheri facilitates that, so at bowling they discuss what they want to do the next Saturday.

I pick Kate up from the bowling alley on Wednesdays and we grab dinner and take it home. If her score is over 55 she gets a milk shake with her dinner. The plan was to encourage her to not talk so much and pay attention to her bowling. We need to come up with a plan B.

After we ate dinner last week, milk shake-less, Kate took a shower and got ready for bed. Art and I were watching TV on the couch and Kate was sitting in the recliner watching her IPad. 

Often we will hear Kate have a conversation with inanimate objects, or just the air, we aren't always sure - she just talks. While watching TV we hear Kate say she is going to the crack house.  We look at each other with - did I just hear what I thought I heard? -expressions.  I said, "Hey Kate, were are you going?" Actually I yelled at her because she is watching her IPad with her headset on.  

Again she says she is going to the crack house.  I ask again with my best listening ears on. Living with Kate long enough we have learned you have to listen with special listening ears because what you hear you also have to interpret. I ask if she is going there with Cheri-I'm searching for clues to help me understand. She says yes.

'The House with the Clock in its Walls' is a new movie coming out. I'm hoping that is what they were discussing this past Wednesday and she is planning on going to the movies to see the Clock House - not going to the crack house. If not, Cheri has some explaining to do!

Remember - Share the Joy!

I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

Every Friday at Marc Community Resources, where Kate attends a day program, they have "theme' day. This week was no exception. Can you guess the theme?

I tried to convince her that it was one or the other, Princess or Super Hero. She was adamant that it had to be both. She won.

She is also adamant that she doesn't like camping. Not sure she has ever been, but she doesn't want to go with us. We recently bought a used RV for traveling with her and the dogs, so far it has just been us and the dogs. Typical. I think she is finding her friends way more appealing than the "rents". 

That being said, last weekend she had a sleepover with her sister Patty and spent Saturday afternoon with her friends. Meanwhile, the four of us went up north for a short trip down Route 66 for a camping get away over night. It was lovely.

First stop was the Meteor Crater - amazing. The second largest hole in the ground in Arizona. Art got his picture taken with a new friend.

Second stop was an opportunity to "Take it Easy" and spend sometime standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona, and such a fine sight to see. Can you see the "girl my Lord in a flat bed Ford slowin' down to take a look at me" in the window? (The song will be stuck in your head for days, believe me) Again we were lucky enough to make  more friends to take our pictures with.

Our stop for the night was a very nice campground right outside of Winslow on a lake. Peace and quiet. Art made an excellent rib dinner on the grill and we star gazed and my old friend Mr. Moon was shinning bright. Life is good. I will admit I missed Kate, but I knew she was having a good time also, without us.

The next morning we started home and I was amazed at the different topography you can see in Arizona in just a 3 hour trip. We went from desert to grass, cactus to pine trees, huge boulders on mountains to flat clay land as far as the eye could see. Signs to watch for horses, elk, bear, donkey, cows (with and without babies), falling rocks, ice, do not cross when flooded and chain your tires areas. Crazy!

It was a fun trip, to be concluded with a concert in the park with food trucks when we got home. Who do you think we ran into there. Kate and her friends, who by the way, said hello but didn't want to hang with us...still. I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

Directionally Challenged

Kate and I were shopping over the weekend and ended up on the far west side of Mesa. As I pulled out of the parking lot I mentioned that I wasn't sure how to get home.

Kate then proceeded to tell me to turn on Google maps.  She calls the map on the dash Google Maps because the lady that tells me where to go sounds a lot like our Google Home lady that she discusses the weather with daily. I personally think the Google Home lady is much kinder.

You can't add an address while moving, so I was trying to read the map and figure out which way to go. We were at a stop light and she says she knows how to get home and starts telling me where to go. I was as confused as she was when she point to the left with her right hand and says go right and then pointed to the right with her left hand and said maybe left. 

Which way should I go Kate? She looked up and, "Oh Mom, just go to the mountain!"

Good call Kate, good call.

17 of 32

At 18 months we were told Kate may never walk or talk. Since she started talking, around 3 - she has never stopped.  Even in her sleep she carries on conversations.

She may talk a lot, but often she is very hard to understand. I am often repeating (translating) what she says to people, especially friends she just met (strangers she starts a conversation with). After all, she only has 17 teeth. A normal adult mouth has 32 teeth, which (except for wisdom teeth) have erupted by about age 13. In fact some of the teeth she still has are her baby teeth, there are no adult teeth to erupt, and most missing teeth are in the lower front, so tongue placement is difficult.

Recently at the pool, a couple of life guards were walking past us with a bucket full of rubber ducks. Kate saw them and said, "Hey girls,what's that?" They looked at each other puzzled as Kate started counting the rubber ducks, so I walked up to them and said, "This is why she could never be a greeter at Walmart, you would never get out of the store."

This weekend she was telling me about a Grand Finale. I was really struggling to understand what she was telling me. Pet Smart was involved in this story and so was Walmart. We have taught her that sometimes we don't "get it" when she is trying to tell us something and to tell us in different words what she is trying to say.

This was one of those times. I could see she was struggling to come up with the words to tell me, her lips would move but no words would come out. Finally she said new store.  Ding Ding Ding, not Grand Finale, Grand Opening!  There was a new store opening in Mesa... Old Navy!  Since we didn't have an Old Navy in town before this, when she was saying the name Old Navy, I had no idea what she was talking about. 

Sometimes she gets phrases or titles mixed up. Like the time I told her my shoulder was really sore and she told me to see a psychiatrist when in fact she meant chiropractor, at least that is what I hope she meant!

After all that of course we had to attend the Grand Opening of the new Old Navy smack dab between Pet Smart and Walmart. Three guesses what color shirt she bought herself.  

Remember, Share the Joy!

Empty-Nesters

        

As the parents of disabled adults, the fear is always where will my child live when I am no longer able to care for them. 

Eventually we will have to make the decision on where Kate will live when she no longer lives with us. Two viable options are a Group Home or a Adult Developmental Home—adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities live in private family homes with dedicated caregivers. We aren’t quite there yet but will be soon.

On Saturday afternoons Kate usually goes out with her caregiver, Cherie. They meet up with other caregivers and adults with disabilities and they attend an event together. Some days it is a movie and dinner, others  a live concert, shopping, a play, bowling, or mini golf. There really are so many options in Arizona. So Kate gets more social time with friends and Art and I can have some quiet time together... win win.

Art and I wanted to stay overnight out of town, so I asked Cherie if she ever had the clients spend the night. She said she would love for Kate to spend the night with her. So on Thursday night I started packing Kate's overnight bag and on Friday morning I broke the news to her. Of course I was apprehensive on her reaction to us leaving town for a day and her sleeping as Cherie’s. She has never “slept over” at anyone’s house except her family… like ever!

Well you would have thought she won the lottery!  I got a Woo Hoo and fist pump when I told her we were going out of town and she was going to spend the night with Cherie!!  Really Kate, not even a I’m going to miss you guys?

I guess I should have been happy that she was comfortable going without us, but to be honest my feelings were a little hurt.

So off she went on Friday to her day program with a back pack on her back, her overnight bag in her hand and a huge smile on her face.  She spent the night with Cherie on Friday and we were home by 6 pm on Saturday.

When Cherie dropped her off she said Kate was a great house guest. Cherie was concerned that Kate would be apprehensive (yeah right) but she was fine. Very polite, used her good words “please and thank you” and she was welcome back anytime. Kate also said she had fun at Cherie and Jim’s house. She slept in the guest room and watched her iPad.  She had fun Friday night, Cherie took her and another girl to the movies and then on Saturday they went out to lunch and another movie. It is hot here, so they try hard to keep the clients inside for health reasons.

We said our goodbyes and Kate went to play in her room. About an hour later I checked on her and there she was, packing her overnight bag again. I guess I really shouldn’t be overly concerned about becoming an empty-nester.  Kate is ready to fly the coop.

Yes Mommie Dearest

I have noticed that my family  often talk in "sarcasm", although I don't know where they get it from.

We joke that when we speak and type, the words should be green, so everyone knows sarcasm is our first language.

Kate is a very literal person.  For example, if you were to say, “You’re pulling my leg.” She would give you a puzzled look, look at your leg and say, “No I’m not.”

I often wonder if she gets our sarcasm. I recently read an article in the Smithsonian Magazine titled: The Science of Sarcasm? Yeah, Right. This is a section I found most interesting.

“Scientists are finding that the ability to detect sarcasm really is useful. For the past 20 years, researchers from linguists to psychologists to neurologists have been studying our ability to perceive snarky remarks and gaining new insights into how the mind works. Studies have shown that exposure to sarcasm enhances creative problem solving, for instance. Children understand and use sarcasm by the time they get to kindergarten. An inability to understand sarcasm may be an early warning sign of brain disease.”  Click here for a link to the article. 

Well, Kate’s level of abilities are varied. In some areas she is higher functioning than a kindergarten and, in some areas, she is at that level and then some lower.

I mean just the other day Art and I were out and Patty was home with Kate. Patty sent us this screen shot

She said in her text: “I was watching TV when all of the sudden this pops up on the TV. It is on Kate’s iPad.  I don’t know how she did it, but now it’s on the TV. Kate looked over at me and goes, "Ha-ha, sorry.”

The reason I wondered if Kate understood sarcasm is because when I tell her to do something, or not to do something, and it isn’t really what she wants to do, she will respond dejectedly with “Yes Mommie Dearest." 

Okay, did she mean that as a term of endearment, or did someone read her the book Mommie Dearest? Is this her attempt at sarcasm? She sure does surprise us sometimes, so I'm still not sure what her intent is on this one.