Empty-Nesters

        

As the parents of disabled adults, the fear is always where will my child live when I am no longer able to care for them. 

Eventually we will have to make the decision on where Kate will live when she no longer lives with us. Two viable options are a Group Home or a Adult Developmental Home—adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities live in private family homes with dedicated caregivers. We aren’t quite there yet but will be soon.

On Saturday afternoons Kate usually goes out with her caregiver, Cherie. They meet up with other caregivers and adults with disabilities and they attend an event together. Some days it is a movie and dinner, others  a live concert, shopping, a play, bowling, or mini golf. There really are so many options in Arizona. So Kate gets more social time with friends and Art and I can have some quiet time together... win win.

Art and I wanted to stay overnight out of town, so I asked Cherie if she ever had the clients spend the night. She said she would love for Kate to spend the night with her. So on Thursday night I started packing Kate's overnight bag and on Friday morning I broke the news to her. Of course I was apprehensive on her reaction to us leaving town for a day and her sleeping as Cherie’s. She has never “slept over” at anyone’s house except her family… like ever!

Well you would have thought she won the lottery!  I got a Woo Hoo and fist pump when I told her we were going out of town and she was going to spend the night with Cherie!!  Really Kate, not even a I’m going to miss you guys?

I guess I should have been happy that she was comfortable going without us, but to be honest my feelings were a little hurt.

So off she went on Friday to her day program with a back pack on her back, her overnight bag in her hand and a huge smile on her face.  She spent the night with Cherie on Friday and we were home by 6 pm on Saturday.

When Cherie dropped her off she said Kate was a great house guest. Cherie was concerned that Kate would be apprehensive (yeah right) but she was fine. Very polite, used her good words “please and thank you” and she was welcome back anytime. Kate also said she had fun at Cherie and Jim’s house. She slept in the guest room and watched her iPad.  She had fun Friday night, Cherie took her and another girl to the movies and then on Saturday they went out to lunch and another movie. It is hot here, so they try hard to keep the clients inside for health reasons.

We said our goodbyes and Kate went to play in her room. About an hour later I checked on her and there she was, packing her overnight bag again. I guess I really shouldn’t be overly concerned about becoming an empty-nester.  Kate is ready to fly the coop.